I love the sound of rain…it brings calm to me no matter the circumstances and as I sit here on tonight I am thankful for small reminders and even more so for small miracles.
At the beginning of this year, my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. It has been an extremely difficult few months for him…for me…for us and for his children, my son as well. No one that loves you wants to hear the word cancer, yet it is a reality.
I’ve reached out to some powerful prayer warriors and not a day goes by that I don’t feel them waging war on his behalf. This in itself is a blessing that I can not explain.
Last week he went in to have a port placement in order to start chemo and things didn’t go as planned…our plan was to have a nice dinner afterwards being that he had dietary restrictions prior to the surgery and I of course had fasted.
Long story short…my husband was on life support for about 18 hours after the port placement. After the second time of them informing me that he still wasn’t breathing on his own and asking me how they should proceed…I very definitely said to the nurse that if they didn’t get that tube back down his throat that I’d put down theirs and it was understood by all that I was not leaving the hospital without my husband.
Our God was in agreement!!!
We had a heart to heart when we got home…heart to hearts are oftentimes painful because of the unfortunate truths but in the end they are necessary.
We cry, we laugh, we raise our voices and we let it be known that we can get through things together and with God but we must be honest about where we are at all times. Most importantly, we must be willing to forgive…sometimes that means over and over again. Same as The Father forgives us ALL…over and over again, in all of our weaknesses and with all of our flaws.
Earlier tonight after a brief conversation with a young Sister in Christ, I was reminded that my husband has traveled a many rough roads in his lifetime and he has known pain that most will never know…and unfortunately he has not experienced love and acceptance to this same degree. Still he has traveled those rough roads and he has been able to revisit them with me by his side and show me where he came from and what he has survived.
It’s easy to ask the question why…it’s even easier to not understand the answers we receive. This is why prayer is important…so that God can get the judgment out of us, fill us with forgiveness and pour the love in.
From 2019 to 2021 and even into 2022 God was doing a work in me…healing the mind, will and emotions. As well, He healed my body of so many ailments…some of which I had suffered from for over 20 years. My husband was right there with me and right by my side every step of the way…I can imagine that it must have been difficult for him because I know that it was for me…I also am reminded of how difficult I must have been to live with. Healing is a terrible painful thing and those that are around us during this process…those that are close catch holy hell. He caught it all and he did not flinch once.
I’m confident that God strengthened me then for what is now…and that revelation comes only as I write these words.
He never left my side and I won’t be leaving his…I might have to take a ride now and then when he gets on my very last nerve but I’m not going to leave his side either.
Tomorrow will be his first day of treatment and I will be right there by his side.
That’s what love is all about…what marriage is all about…what life is all about.
Blessings Abounding, Vetta